In the Middle: Emotional and Financial Impacts Facing the “Sandwich Generation”

This demographic, known as the “sandwich generation,” encompasses nearly a quarter of U.S. adults. In fact, more than half of individuals in their 40s have both a child under 18 and a parent aged 65 or older.[1] And the numbers are growing. The trend of starting a family later in life, coupled with the longer lifespans of aging adults, has contributed to the growth of the sandwich generation.

While loving and supporting our families across the generations is truly a privilege, there is no denying the squeeze this particular “layer” in life puts on people—emotionally and financially. If you find yourself in the middle, supporting children and parents, here are some things to think about and some tips to navigate this time in your life.

Emotional Considerations

There is a certain amount of emotional fatigue that goes along with any kind of caregiving, let alone caregiving for more than one generation. It is important to take some time to acknowledge and validate the emotional impacts of juggling multiple caregiver roles.

Caregiver Stress and Burnout

There are several different stressors that come into play with the sandwich generation. Some include:

• Role reversal stress: transitioning from being a child to taking on a near-parental role in caregiving can be emotionally challenging.
• Fear of missing out: when your priorities are so focused on others, you may start missing social events or other activities, leaving you feeling isolated or like your life is passing you by.
• Feelings of inadequacy: juggling the needs of multiple generations may have you questioning whether you’re truly providing the best care for either.
• Grief: your life becomes so intertwined with your aging parents that you may begin a grieving process in anticipation of their decline and demise.
• Parental pressure: you may feel out of touch with your children’s changing developmental needs and attention requirements, which can cause a feeling of disconnect.
• Fear of burdening others: you may worry about how sharing caregiving duties or relying on loved ones for emotional support could affect your spouse, partner, or your children. Balancing their involvement while ensuring their well-being can add to the emotional strain.

Ways to Cope

These are just a few of the stressors and associated feelings that can lead to caregiver burnout. Common signs of burnout include irritability, anxiety, and insomnia. Ironically, recognizing these symptoms can add even more stress. That’s why prioritizing self-care is essential. What self-care looks like will be different for everyone, and while it may be hard to do, you might consider asking for help. Emotional help may come from leaning on supportive siblings or friends in similar situations, joining a support group, or seeking professional counseling. The old adage rings true: “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” Taking care of yourself is not just vital for your well-being—it’s essential for continuing to support those you love.

Setting boundaries is key to shielding yourself and your loved ones from stress. Don’t take on more than you can handle and be honest about your capabilities and limits. If another close family member can’t be there physically, ask them to contribute in other ways. Handing off financial tasks—managing bills, balancing a checkbook, or tracking expenses—to another family member or a professional can ease the load. You can also lean on outside help, like housecleaners, adult daycare, or personal shoppers. But the real challenge is letting go. Not only do you need to be willing to let some of the responsibilities go, but you also need to trust that it is being handled—until proven otherwise.

Financial Considerations

Beyond the emotional impact of multigenerational caregiving, there are financial challenges faced by the sandwich generation. In addition to managing their own family’s expenses—including tuition, education costs, car purchases for new drivers, childcare, and medical bills—they must also navigate the financial stability of their aging parents. Balancing these responsibilities requires careful planning and often places strain on household budgets and potentially long-term financial plans.

The Cost of Raising a Child

According to data compiled by the Brookings Institution, an average middle income family will spend $310,000 to raise a child born in 2015 through the age of 17 in 2032.[2] Of course this is just an average, and costs increase with income level and number of children. The most significant cost comes from housing, followed by food and childcare. Other costs associated with childrearing include sports, hobbies and family vacations.

Education is one of the biggest expenses families face, but planning ahead can make a significant difference. Investing in a 529 plan early and consistently is a smart way to ease the burden of college costs. However, even with a well-funded plan, additional non-qualifying expenses—travel, extracurricular activities, and spending money—can still impact a family’s budget. By saving as much as possible, as early as possible, you can help minimize financial stress during this crucial time, especially if you believe your future may include providing financial support to aging parents.

The Reality of Longevity

In 2025, the average life expectancy for U.S. men and women combined is 78.4[3], with many living into their 80s and beyond. Some aging parents may have planned well for their retirement, but not well enough to cover their life expectancy. And some aging parents may not have planned at all.

It’s important to have honest, though sometimes difficult, conversations with aging parents about their financial situation and care preferences while they can still fully participate in the dialogue. Reviewing all their financial resources and debts is essential. If they work with a financial professional, scheduling a meeting to discuss their plans can help provide some clarity. If they don’t have an advisor, involving your financial advisor can help everyone understand their financial position, including any assets that could be liquidated. A tax professional is another valuable resource for assessing the tax implications of selling assets and converting them into cash. Based on the aging parent’s savings and income, a professional can help evaluate different scenarios and outline a realistic plan for their living situation, including contingencies for evolving care needs—whether that means aging in place with home care, downsizing, or transitioning to an assisted living facility.

As life expectancy increases, we are gifted with more time to cherish, learn from, and support our parents, making every moment with them even more precious. However, this extended time also calls for more careful financial and emotional planning to ensure they are cared for and supported throughout their later years.

The Expense of Parental Caregiving

What happens when parents have spent down their savings and much of the financial responsibility of caregiving falls on their children? The financial impact on the sandwich generation can range from out-of-pocket expenses and time away from work to the loss of personal savings or having to choose between funding retirement or a child’s education savings, or neither. Some may find themselves paying for things like a parent’s housing, in-home care or long-term care facility, medical bills and other financial obligations.

Here are some of the financial impacts commonly associated with caregiving:

• Out-of-pocket expenses: family caregivers often find themselves spending their own money on groceries, medical needs and transportation. The little things can add up over time.
• Impact on income: many people find that in order to properly care for an aging parent means reducing work hours or leaving a job altogether, which can have a significant impact on household income and potentially benefits.
• Impact on savings and retirement: to cover some larger caregiving needs, some find themselves needing to dip into their savings or their own emergency fund to cover the costs. The additional burden on cash flow may mean skipping contributions to retirement or college savings. The impact of this choice may not be seen for years but could be significant to an overall financial plan and security.

When it comes to navigating the financial side of caring for aging parents, there are resources available. Local community programs, government assistance, and nonprofit organizations can provide guidance and support for elder care, housing, and medical needs.

Life in the Layer

Managing the responsibilities of both raising children and caring for aging parents is a reality for many in the sandwich generation, and one that comes with significant emotional and financial challenges. Balancing these roles often means constantly shifting focus between supporting a child’s needs—school schedules, extracurricular activities, and long-term education planning—and tending to a parent’s health concerns, daily care, or housing decisions. The demands can seem heavy at times, and the emotional strain of trying to “do it all” is very real. Financially, the burden compounds quickly. Families may find themselves covering childcare expenses and saving for college while also covering of elder care costs. Even well-thought-out financial plans can be stretched thin. Over time, the dual caregiving role can take a meaningful toll, not just on day-to-day life, but on overall financial stability and personal well-being.

While the challenges of multigenerational caregiving may feel overwhelming at times, it’s important to remember that you’re not alone and that these efforts often come from a place of deep love and commitment to family. Your financial advisor can be a key partner during this time, helping you evaluate your parents’ financial picture, uncover potential benefits or savings opportunities, and creating a plan that protects your own financial goals while you aid in their financial needs. With the right support and planning, and by engaging the resources available, it is possible to care for both your family and your future with less stress and more confidence.