Family planning is a deeply personal, exciting decision.
When my wife and I decided to expand our family (after first consulting with our fur baby), we pursued co-IVF, also known as reciprocal IVF. This fertility treatment allowed one of us to carry our baby using an embryo created with the other’s egg and a sperm donor. IVF was one of several options we explored, though our choices were limited by insurance coverage. Since we ultimately had to pay out of pocket, we knew that careful financial planning was essential. We took a close look at our cash flow and created a strategy that would allow us to move forward confidently. Thankfully, our second round of IVF was successful—and now, we have a thriving two-and-a-half-year-old keeping us on our toes!
Family planning is a deeply personal, exciting decision. Aspiring parents—whether single or partnered—have several family-building paths to consider. Common fertility treatments for the LGBTQ+ community, including same-sex couples and transgender individuals, include:
When deciding what’s best for your situation, maintaining open communication is essential. While financial factors are important, it’s equally important to acknowledge the emotional and physical aspects of the journey. Many people find it helpful to seek support through individual or couples therapy, and some explore options like fertility acupuncture. These strategies can provide meaningful mental and physical benefits throughout the process.
Financial considerations play a major role in the planning process. Understanding your employer benefits and health insurance coverage—which can vary widely by company and state—is a key component in your decision-making process. For example, some insurance plans cover a set number of IUI attempts before offering IVF coverage. Certain employers may provide financial assistance for fertility treatments such as egg or sperm donor costs, adoption fees, egg freezing, and surrogacy expenses. For transgender individuals, coordinating hormone therapy with fertility treatments is essential, as medical guidance impacts reproductive outcomes.
Family-building costs differ significantly, depending on the method selected. Here are some estimated costs for 2025:
| Method | Estimated Cost Range |
| IUI[1] | $500 – $4,000 |
| IVF[2] | $20,000 – $50,000 |
| Surrogacy[3] | $100,000 – $200,000 |
| Adoption[4] | $0 – $70,000 |
In addition, there are legal fees to consider. Confirmatory or second parent adoption may be necessary to secure parental rights. Reviewing estate plans is critical to help ensure clarity around healthcare directives, inheritance rights, and even posthumous conception, such as determining embryo use after your death. In surrogacy or single parent situations, preparing for the possibility of premature death of an intended parent is also essential. Planning may include incorporating additional life insurance on the intended parents and/or the surrogate’s life.
All of these decisions require thoughtful consideration as you embark on the exciting journey of family planning. Collaborating with professionals—such as a CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER® professional, estate attorney, reproductive law and adoption attorney, and family law attorney experienced in LGBTQ+ family planning—can help you build a strong financial and legal foundation.
Ultimately, choosing the best family planning path for your situation is a personal decision. With careful research, financial preparation, and emotional support, the journey can be incredibly fulfilling. Surrounding yourself with knowledgeable professionals and a supportive community can make all the difference in turning your dream of parenthood into reality.
[1] https://www.fertilityiq.com/fertilityiq/iui-or-artificial-insemination/the-cost-of-iui#components-of-iui-cycle-cost
[2] https://www.get-carrot.com/blog/ivf-cost-understanding-the-expenses-of-in-vitro-fertilization
[3] https://www.circlesurrogacy.com/post/surrogacy-costs-breakdown
[4] https://familyequality.org/resources/average-adoption-costs-in-the-united-states/
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