As a financial advisor and member of the queer community, I am facing a tough reality of helping my clients plan for the unknown while considering my own family. It is certainly a lot to navigate so I wanted to provide some insight for others who may also be navigating this uncertainty, for those in the community and our allies.

Prioritizing

First and foremost, it is so important to take a moment for yourself. Feel your feelings because they are real, whatever it is you feel.

If you are a financial advisor helping your clients in the queer community, take the time to check in and listen. Hear their concerns. Validate their concerns. Again, these feelings are very real even if you may not be feeling the same way or whether you fully understand. Recognize that the queer community is widely diverse, and each person has their own experience and feelings. You may find that your client may not be too concerned, so remember to remove assumptions, identify what is important to them, and keep an open mind.

For those in the community, take a step back and look at the big picture. Try to ascertain and understand what is in your control and what is not. Identify what is important to you and revisit the overall goals for you and for your family. Work with your advisor to re-run your financial plan projections with or without changes, depending on where you are.

Taking Action

While revisiting your plan, consider the overall protections you have in place and whether you need to implement additional protections. This includes estate planning and addressing the items below.

• Creating or updating a testamentary will, power of attorney (for financial decisions), health care proxy (for medical decisions), and possibly a living will and trust (for privacy purposes or minor children, for example). Specifically naming your partner or spouse and describing your children in these documents are crucial pieces in protecting you and your loved ones.
• Updating your documents accordingly for changes to your name and/or gender marker. This update should also be made in the documents of anyone else who is intending to leave you an inheritance.
• Reviewing your documents for state laws if you are considering relocating or you have recently relocated.
• Confirming the agents that you selected in your plan are the best people to act on your behalf, whether it be if you become incapacitated or pass away.
• Double checking how your assets will pass to beneficiaries, who will be your beneficiaries, and who you have listed as the guardian of your child(ren) and fur-children.

If you are estranged from relatives, you may be intentionally leaving them out of your estate plan. Instead, you may decide to include your chosen family members. There are certain ways to do this to protect your assets. It is important to work closely with an attorney who is familiar with this to reduce the risk of blood relatives contesting your estate.

Another aspect of protection to consider involves your family structure: If you are family planning or you have already created a family using artificial reproductive technologies (ART), adoption, or surrogacy, it is important to work closely with an attorney who works in adoption and reproductive law.

• Re-visit expanding or creating a family in your financial plan. There are significant costs to some of these options, as insurance coverage is limited. There is some concern about access to ART options, as well as concern that prior bans on same-sex adoptions will return. At this time, plan for what is in the present. Decide on what is best for you and your family and take the necessary steps to incorporate this into your plan.
• Consider any additional legal documents that may be needed to protect the legality of your family structure. For example, confirmatory adoption is a common way to solidify legal parentage for both parents. This process is different depending on what state you live in and how your family was created.
• Carry certified copies of your health care proxy, marriage certificate, birth certificates, and potentially adoption documents, when traveling. This can help to protect you in a situation where you or your family member needs medical care.

For couples who are married, or considering marriage, there is concern about the future of marriage equality. This is certainly something you may want to discuss with an LGBTQ+ family law attorney. A few points to consider:

• Remember that the Respect for Marriage Act passed two years ago. As of 2022, 35 states ban same-sex marriage in their constitution or by a state statute. These bans are currently null and void since the Obergefell v. Hodges ruling in 2015.
• Though the Respect for Marriage Act does not provide full marriage protection if marriage equality is reversed, it provides some protection. Any marriage performed in a state where it is legal must be recognized federally and by all states. This applies to states where performing same-sex marriage is illegal. Federal benefits that you receive through marriage are protected, including social security and retirement/pension benefits.
• It is unclear what will happen to existing marriages in states where there were marriage bans prior to 2015. This is something that is being discussed among attorneys in this space and the hope is that any marriages performed before a potential future reversal would remain intact.

Other considerations include revisiting your retirement projections, charitable giving strategies, vacation planning, and more.

Looking Forward

As we move forward, focusing on what we can control may bring some level of peace. For me, this means revisiting the above planning items for my own family and clients, as well as reminding my loved ones to do the same

For you, it may be something different. Considering everything all at once can be overwhelming. So again, take a moment to yourself, feel your feelings, then take a step back to look at the big picture. Prioritize what is important to you and your loved ones and take it one step at a time to determine what decisions you want to make – if any at all.