Holiday Conversations: Talking to your loved ones about finances

By Jeanne Bernardin, CFP®

Wealth Manager

November 15, 2024

During the holiday season, you may have some long-anticipated plans to spend quality time with your loved ones.

The last thing that may be on your mind is discussing finances and your future care needs with your family over dinner. But the togetherness that the holidays bring could be a good opportunity to bring up these topics with those closest to you, as it is truly in your, and even their, best interest.

Since many of us will likely need assistance someday, it’s never too soon to begin talking to family members about the future. Having conversations in advance of an illness, an emergency, or a death, will help to establish the mutual trust needed to ensure that the wishes that are clearly communicated are ultimately respected. In the past few years, I have actively had these chats with my own mother. I have also had friends and clients who have had such conversations with their parents and in-laws, many of whom have since passed away. Settling their respective estates was helped immeasurably by having had those difficult conversations beforehand. As we gather for the holidays, consider whether it is the “right” time to start having these conversations with your own adult children or close family members.

Some topics to share about your financial life:

  • Your will and who will be the executor.
  • Whether you should hold your assets in a trust.
  • Who will have Power of Attorney for finances.
  • Your later-in-life and end-of-life wishes (health care proxy).
  • Location and account numbers of your financial assets.
  • Your account beneficiaries.
  • Your financial advisors.
  • Where key financial and estate documents are stored.
  • Safe deposit box location and access.
  • Insurance policies (including life and long-term care).
  • What legacy you want to leave.
  • Whether you will owe federal or state estate tax at your death. Some states, including MA impose an estate tax if a person dies with more than $1 million in assets.
  • Your desire to donate to charity.
  • Your lifetime gifting strategy.

This list is not comprehensive but may give you some ideas on topics to broach with your loved ones if and when the time is right. The more they know about your wishes the less they will need to figure out on their own later. As an added resource, we have developed a What To Do When I Die guide that can be used to help you get ready to talk with your family as well as a reference tool to use with any follow-up conversations on the matter.

Conversations about money, future care needs and final wishes can be challenging, especially when family dynamics and generational differences come into play. These complexities can make what should be a straightforward discussion feel difficult. At Modera, we specialize in helping families navigate these sensitive topics and foster open, productive dialogues across generations. We understand that every family has distinct goals, whether it’s planning for the care of aging parents or finding the best way to invest in the next generation’s financial future.

Through family meetings, we help normalize conversations about finances to help ensure that everyone concerned is not only prepared for eventual wealth and life transitions, but also that harmony is maintained within the family. We can sit down with you and your adult children to help facilitate your first, subsequent and any future discussions to help make sure pertinent issues are fully addressed. Give us a call. We are happy to set up an appointment with you and your family when you are ready.

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